Cashier: “Buying some cheese, huh?”
Me: “That’s right.”
Cashier: “I love cheese. I just seriously love cheese. Do you know how much cheese I could eat?”
Me: “No.”
Cashier: “I could eat so much cheese. Last night, at like midnight, I was just sitting there with a block of cheddar cheese. I didn’t even have a knife. I was just sitting there at midnight, eating an entire block of cheese. Between you and me, sometimes I fucking hate myself.”
Me:
Cashier: “It really affects my self-esteem. Like, a lot. Oh! You’re getting Tic Tacs?”
Me: “Um …”
Cashier: “I don’t even think of those as breath mints. To me, they’re more like a candy. You know? Do you like the orange flavor the best?”